You are so close now.  Weeks away from starting college!  How does it feel?  For most of you, it is a bit of a mixed bag of extreme emotions -- excitement, fear, happiness, sadness, stress, calm, blah, blah, blah.  The emphasis here is less on the particular emotion as on the EXTREME nature of it.  So welcome to the roller coaster of beginnings and endings.  How do you ride it without throwing up?  My theory is that you lean into it and throw yourself into experiencing it all with full enthusiasm.

An important way of "leaning into" the roller coaster of beginnings and endings is actually experiencing the endings.  Full stop.  So for the next three weeks I'm going to be giving you advice on how to do the ending part right.  Ready, buckle your seat belts, let's go!

Coming up immediately, a huge loop de loop.  It is the ending with your family.  No, leaving for college doesn't END your relationship with your family.  But it does end a chapter of your family's story.  First thing to remember about this section of the ride is that it isn't just happening to you.  Your whole family is buckled in this ride with you.  So each of them — Mom, Dad, Stepparent, Sister, Brother, Grandparent, Cat, Dog, Fish — the whole family signed up for this part of the ride.  So prepare yourself.  It is going to be wacky.  That's why it is a loop de loop.  You are definitely defying gravity here.  Here are my tips for getting all the fun possible out of this loop de loop and surviving to the next section of the ride.

1. Just agree and let them do whatever, however weird, however annoying, however embarrassing. Suddenly your Mom is going to want to sew your name in your underwear just like when you went to camp at age 8 or your Dad is going decide it is time for you to enjoy whiskey together like "grown-ups" or your little brother is going to dog your heels and want to go on every errand with you.  All of the odd things that they are doing are their way of handling your departure.  Don't fight it; you won't win.  You are, in fact, leaving for college and they do, in fact, have to deal with that.  So if you fight the name in your underwear, your Mom will just find some other way to "Mom" you and it will probably be worse.  Why?  Frustrated emotions just get bigger and their expression more bizarre and grander in scale.  Agree because you understand this fundamental truth.

2. Think practically and make sure everyone knows how to make the day-to-day work. You have been operating as a part of a family, which means you rely on each other for day-to-day things.  That is now disrupted and everyone has to learn new things.  Never, ever done your laundry?  Have your Mom show you how.  Are you the one that drives your little sister to ballet?  Figure out who is going to do it now and give some hints about how to do it right, e.g. be sure and stop at the smoothie store en route.

3. Figure out a communication and visit schedule for the first 6 weeks of the term. When are you going to talk/text/see each other?  You've got to deal with a dynamic tension here.  The beginning of your freshman year is a time of big transition, so you'll probably be talking/texting/seeing more frequently than you will later on.  But remember this is actually supposed to be an ending, so you shouldn't be talking/texting/seeing each other at the same pace you do now.

4. Get the finances straight. Has your tuition been paid?  If not, do you know how it is going to be paid?  What is your budget for living?  If you are going to get money regularly from home, how is that going to happen?  What are the rules for using the EMERGENCY credit card — you may stunned to learn that your parents don't consider it an emergency if you don't have enough money to buy pizza at the end of the month, so you just charged it.  They'll probably say that an emergency is something like your needing to get some medicine that isn't on your health plan at school, not a pizza when they've already paid for a perfectly good meal plan at the dining hall.  Who knew?  And most importantly, what calling/texting/data plan on your cell phone are they willing to pay for?  Make sure that all those texts you and your sister exchange are not running up a bill that will give your father a heart attack and result in you having to withdraw early.

5. Make some good memories right now. Take time for a special good-bye with your family.  I personally like the habit of toasting at these gatherings.  Have each of them make a toast to you and you make a toast to each of them.  Video the toasts.  But if toasting isn't your thing, do something else.  Just do it and record it — both in your heart and in some medium like video or pictures.  These become the memories that sustain and connect all of you over time and space.

If you do all this, you'll fly through this loop de loop laughing and crying and shouting at the sheer fun of it.  Even if it does make you and your family a little sad.  Promise.

Comments or Questions?

Post your own experience of this loop de loop on the roller coaster ride of life.  These stories are made for sharing!

Alison Cooper Chisolm writes the series 52 Weeks to College. She has worked in admissions at Southern Methodist University, the University of Chicago, and most recently Dartmouth College. She is a graduate of Yale College and the University of Virginia Law School. As part of the Ivey Consulting team, Alison works with college applicants and their families as they navigate the college admissions process. Read more about Alison here.